"At the end you remember the beginning"

In one month I will finish my responsibilities as President of AIESEC in Croatia, I won’t have any more title below my name, I won’t be actively working in AIESEC anymore, I won’t have an address, I will have no work or job to do. I will be just an unemployed recent graduate in Psychology with 24 years old. I will have to rebuild my life from scratch, find a new place to live, a new job, a new passion, a new flag.

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How does it make me feel?

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I believe AIESEC is just a bus stop, it is never ever a destination. We meet some cool people on the same stop as we, some other less cool people, some of them we are sure we will meet somewhere someday, we go through sunny days but also through a lot of rainy days, some days we are tired to wait, other days we feel like never leaving that place.

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And once it gets comfortable it means that it’s time to catch the bus. And I feel that this is the right moment to catch my bus, I am sure it will be the right one and I am sure that will lead me exactly where I should be.

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And how does that make me feel?

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Tired but at the same time I know that the next 30 days are the last days I have to do anything meaningful in this organization, are the only days left to make a change, to leave a legacy, to do something that will make my last years all worth.

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I’m also tired of jumping around and I miss having a place called home. But for now that is something I can live with as long as I have friends that make me feel home in many places in the world.

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How does it make me feel?

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Nostalgic and it makes me think about the person I was when I joined AIESEC, it makes me feel a bit old and it makes me feel I went through an amazing changing process. When I look at the pictures I see that apparently I haven’t change that much but I know the truth, I’m not the same scared, low-confident, impulsive, with bad English, with fear to speak in public girl I was when I joined…

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So what´s the feeling?

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Happiness because I had an amazing experience. I will leave Croatia with the feeling I have done the right choice by staying one more year, I will be sure that all doubts, fears and even tears were worth. I will leave my active life in AIESEC with absolutely sure I made the best out of it, I kept the right people around me, I learned what I needed for my personality and character to become stronger, I took challenges and I grew beyond what I ever expected.

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How does it make me feel?

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A bit scared about the future, anxious. AIESEC is a peak in my life. I mean, how many times in my life will I have the opportunity to lead ambitious, young and exciting people? How many times will I be managing an organization with more than 300 people? How many times will I be in my life the main representative of an organization present in a country for over 55 years in front of more than 100 countries? How many times will I be the main representative of a country which is not my own? I think the chances are pretty small.

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I think things will get harder, it will require more passion and willingness, but I am determined not to make AIESEC the peak of my life. I just need to find something I believe in and dedicate my life to it.

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And how does makes me feel?

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In the end it makes me feel good with myself.